


I'll be good

by TheMousePrince



Category: Preacher (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cassulip, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, O'Cassidy, Play Fighting, Recreational Drug Use, like they kissed already but this is the first romantic one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-07 01:20:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15898005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMousePrince/pseuds/TheMousePrince
Summary: It had started with a drinking game, and Cassidy would be lying if he said he didn't know how this had gotten out of control."I don't know how this got out of control," he says.Cassidy and Tulip are high at their apartment. Banter, play fighting, confessions, angst, and finally fluff ensue.





	I'll be good

It had started with a drinking game, and Cassidy would be lying if he said he didn't know how this had gotten out of control.

"I don't know how this got out of control," he says.

The sun was starting to colour the living room's curtains a golden shade of blood orange, and Cassidy wasn't sure it was because it was setting or rising.

Time flies when you're having drugs.

Tulip hums. Lying down next to him, on the musty carpet that was used more to hide dead cockroaches and stains with questionable origins than decorate the room, she is absent-mindedly scratching dried blood from the rug's fabric with her fingernail.

"I mean," he adds, convinced he's a good liar, "it's been a while since I've been this bloody drunk."

Tulip turns her head towards him.

"Like, takes me a lot, d'you know what I mean?"

Tulip hums again and brings her fingers to her face, examining the browned blood that had gathered under her fingernail.

Now, Cassidy thinks he should have kept his mouth shut. He thinks Tulip can see through it all, through his half-arsed lies, through the looks he gives her when it seems that she's not looking.

She'd always seen straight through him, since the very first time. With her eyes that liked to bore into his soul.

Tulip tries to lift her head from the carpet but only manages a few millimetres before feeling it drop back down. She looks up at Cassidy and exhales loudly. Her breath, warm and heavy from the whiskey, caresses his neck. He hopes she didn't see the violent shiver, lightning strike-like, it triggered.

"I can't even remember how much we drunk," she says, her eyes closing.

Cassidy lifts his head, and his eyes scan the room.

"Two, three, four," he lets his head back down, slightly closer to Tulip's, "four glasses of whiskey."

Tulip opens her eyes.

"In total."

"Shit," Tulip says, letting her Texan drawl linger on the "i". "It was probably all that weed then."

Cassidy looks down at the joint that was burning his fingers. "Oh yeah..."

Tulip follows his gaze.

"Hey, give me that," she says.

Cassidy hands her the joint. She takes a puff and grimaces.

"Just the roach left," she says, before flicking the joint and watching it land in a corner behind a dead house plant. "Damn, Cass, it's two puffs and then pass. They don't teach you that in Britain?"

"Hey! First of all Ireland is not in Britain, thank you very much. And second..."

Cassidy makes the mistake of looking at Tulip's face again, and when his gaze ends up on her perfectly defined lips, he forgets what he was about to say.

"You know what, think what you want about the Irish. You like that shite film "The Big Lebowski", so it's not like yer opinion has any value..."

"Hey!" Tulip slaps his arm, smiling. "I'm getting tired of your bullshit opinion on movies."

"Alright," Cassidy says, beginning to pat the floor looking for his pack of cigarettes.

"Anything for you, love."

"Why thank you," Tulip says, affecting a Southern belle accent.

Cassidy finds the pack and pulls a joint from it that he'd rolled earlier ( _thank god_ ).

"So," he sticks the joint in Tulip's mouth, "baby foreskins in rolling paper, for sure."

"You—"

Tulip half climbs on top of him and throws the joint in his face. It rolls down to Cassidy's chest.

"I mean like, as a bonding agent for the paper fibres or somethin'...," he says as fast as he can.

"Oh! Wait!" Cassidy says, raising his index finger at Tulip like he's just been hit by a revelation of the utmost importance.

"Or in that strip of glue we lick to hold the paper togeth—AOW!"

She's slapping him wildly. Hitting his arms, his chest. He tries to protect his face with his hands but she manages to hit in between them.

"Aow, Tulip no! Aow! The joint! You're gonna smash it! Aouch! Tulip! Dammit! Leave the joint out of this!"

Cassidy grabs Tulip's wrists and holds her hands in front of him. Suddenly, he is overcome with the urge to lean in and kiss her fingers one by one.

Before he knows it, he's doing it. Tulip's soft fingers feeling like heaven against his lips.

But as he is getting to the last of her fingers, he opens his mouth wide and bites into it, slicing the phalanx clean. She screams in pain as blood squirts on Cassidy's face, a few drops getting into his eye and blinding him.

"Cass? You there?"

Tulip is staring at him, all ten of her fingers still solidly attached to her hands.

"Yeah I'm here, I'm here. I'm not _that_ stoned," Cassidy mutters.

He closes his eyes, afraid that if he looks into Tulip's he won't be able to stop his feelings from coming out, oozing like pus from an open wound.

"Speaking of, hand us the joint."

He hears the click of the lighter.

"Fuck you. I deserve to be first after you hogged the previous one, you sly fuck," Tulip says, lighting the joint she'd retrieved and stuck in her mouth when Cassidy had started to zone out in the middle of their childish fight.

Cassidy feels the corner of his lips twitch upwards and he is in the middle of opening his mouth when Tulip presses her free hand against it.

"If you say anything else about baby foreskins while I'm smoking, I _will_ destroy you, Cass. I swear to God. I will _stake_ you. Like that girl did to your kind on T.V." She pauses. "Cute white girl. Insanely 90's wardrobe. What was her name again?"

Cassidy tries to speak words that turn incomprehensible against Tulip's hand, so she frees him.

"Buffy."

"Buffy! That's right."

Tulip lifts herself off of Cassidy and lies back down on the ground next to him. She takes a long drag of the joint and holds it in, wincing as some of the smoke grazes her eyes.

"What a stupid-ass name," she says.

Cassidy opens one eye, cautious.

"Coming from the girl named Tulip," he says, immediately lifting his fists in front of him in a mock defence posture.

But Tulip settles for simply blowing smoke in his face.

"I'm starting to think you like it when I beat you up. It's starting to feel like you're trying way too hard to get my hands on you."

Cassidy feels his heart skip a beat at the innuendo. _Did she do it on purpose?_ Tulip is looking at a point past his head. _Does she finally..._

There's a joint in his face.

"What kind of name is Pro...Prah...your name anyway?" Tulip asks as he grabs the joint and puts it in between his lips, trying not to get distracted by the kiss via foreskinned rolling paper they just exchanged.

"Pron-she-iss."

"Jesus."

"No, y'know what really deserves a "Jesus"?" Cassidy tries to hold the smoke in his lungs as long as possible. Maybe if he can make it replace all the oxygen surprisingly still running through his body, he might become stoned enough to stop the images of kissing Tulip and then literally eating her that had not stopped haunting his mind since the minute he fell in love with her.

"What?"

"It means "little French man"."

"Jesus."

"Isn't that bloody ironic? That _that_ would be an Irish name?" Cassidy exhales the smoke. "It makes me think of Denis. Froggy bastard. Should've named him Proinsias Jr."

Cassidy is startled by Tulip's laugh. Thinking about Denis always brought him down, but Tulip's smile was like heroin. All his anxiety about what he did to his own son was being washed away, saved, by her holy laughter.

"Little French Man, the Small One," Tulip wheezes, tears blooming at the corner of her eyes, "talking about stupid-ass names."

"Shut up," says Cassidy, laughing along. "It's not even that funny."

"You're right," Tulip says, struggling to get her breathing back to normal, "I should probably stop smoking," she adds, leaning over Cassidy to grab the joint from his fingers.

He dodges her and moves his hand above his head.

"What are you doing?"

"You said you should stop smoking!" Cassidy says. "I know that this might shock you, Tulip, but I am, at heart, a gentleman. Everything a lady requires, I do my utmost to give to her," he adds, trying for a posh accent. One that someone who had never seen a posh person in their life, and only heard them described by a very drunk three year old would do.

"Cass..." Tulip smiles at him and he believes he sees her gaze dragging along his lips for a tad too long. "Come on now."

"No, no I'm sorry. I—hey!"

Tulip launches herself forward to grab the joint, forcing Cassidy to twist his body at a weird angle to keep it away from her.

"Give me the damn joint, Cassidy!"

"Never!" Cassidy replies, the word ending in a strangled yelp when Tulip rests a hand on his throat so she can lean further without falling on her face.

"Can't. Breathe," Cassidy says, moving his joint-carrying hand as far away as he can, ready to dislocate his shoulder if need be.

"You don't _need_ to breathe!"

"Alright, it won't _kill_ me...but I can still pass out!"

"Then pass out," Tulip replies without missing a beat, wrinkling her nose as she pretends to squeeze his throat harder.

"I WON'T LET YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF, TULIP!"

"For Christ's sake!" Tulip changes tactics and gets on top of Cassidy again, nudging a knee against his stomach and propping an elbow on his shoulder, trying to hold him still.

"I CARE ABOUT YOU, TULIP!"

"JUST GIVE IT TO ME!" Tulip shouts back, enjoying the pretend fight much more than she'll ever admit to.

She finally pins Cassidy's hand to the ground. Her own hands are busy holding onto weak points on his body so she extends her neck and sticks her tongue out to try to get the joint that is only a few millimetres out of her reach.

Only when Tulip can almost taste the paper, Cassidy reaches over with his other arm, the one she forgot was mobile too, and takes the joint away from her again. The treacherous move is transporting her back to when she was five and some bullies at school would try to keep the ball away from her.

_Forcing_ her to kick them in the shins.

She looks into Cassidy's eyes, noting to herself that she hadn't since they had dropped on that carpet in what felt like years.

"Give it to me," she says, her voice calm and measured, trying to hide her laboured breathing and a smile pulling at her lips, "now."

Cassidy's Adam's apple bobs up and down and he opens and closes his mouth a few times, as if trying to say something but failing.

Finally, he smiles the crooked smile she's seen him wear that first time they looked at each other, in their ride to the hospital, when she'd thought she had killed him.

Cassidy brings the joint back towards her, prompting her to let go of his hair ( _when did_ _that happen_ _?_ ) and extend her hand, palm up, to accept her due.

Cassidy winks and brings the joint to his mouth.

"Sorry, love, can't let you hurt yourself like that. Leave the drugs to uncle CassidAAAAAAH!"

Tulip has sunk her teeth into Cassidy's joint-handling hand.

She'd dropped all pretences of adulthood earlier already anyway. As a kid, Tulip would use anything she could to fight her way through the bullies of the world. Kicking, biting, scratching, hair-pulling... And as she grew, well... Why change a recipe that works?

Cassidy finally lets go of the joint, and Tulip releases his hand. She is breathing fast, and laughing triumphantly as she raises the spliff in the air.

"I believe it was my turn," she says, winking back at Cassidy, who is shaking his hand and grimacing dramatically. She lights up the joint and inhales deeply.

"Victory has never tasted so sweet," she says when exhaling the smoke.

Cassidy is looking at his hand now, frowning, his eyes darker than usual.

"Everything O.K., Cass?"

Tulip chuckles half-heartedly, trying to make up for the genuine worried expression she feels blooming on her face.

"I didn't hurt you...did I?" she adds.

She makes the cutesy "oops" face she'd perfected from years of having to handle cops and other overcompensating fragile men.

Cassidy tries to wave Tulip's worry away with his unbit hand, still avoiding to look up at her.

"No, no. It's just..."

A grimace distorts his face. Cassidy finally glances up at Tulip and his frown turns into an attempt at an earnest smile.

"Forget it."

"Oh, come on!" Tulip says, smiling softly and poking Cassidy in between the ribs. "You can't tease me like that..."

Cassidy winces at that last comment, as if he'd been burned.

Tulip tries to backtrack, but it's hard when she doesn't understand what exactly is hurting Cassidy.

Although a little voice at the back of her head is always whispering things to her. Things about her, about Jesse. Things about her dad, and things about God.

Things about Cassidy...

Things she's not sure she's ready for.

"Cass?"

Cassidy is rubbing his injured hand, avoiding to look at Tulip's face again.

"It's just—" Cassidy stops one last time, feeling his tongue getting looser as the last puffs of weed he smoked get at his brain.

The heroin from that morning _probably_ helping too. A _little_.

Tulip moves a hand on his chest and presses softly.

"Yeah?"

Cassidy tries to shrug, as much as one can shrug lying down.

"It's just that I thought _I_ would be the one to bite you...to be honest," he says, ending with a weak chuckle.

His eyes begin to water and Tulip is not sure how to react. So she keeps him talking.

"I thought you didn't crave blood."

"I don't!" Cassidy looks up at her, his eyes staying on her face this time. "Well, not really..."

Tulip presses on his chest a bit harder. Trying to push the words out of him. _L_ _ike he's a fuckin'_ _fireplace bellows._

"I just—" Cassidy chokes on the words and his face twitches in a frown, his eyes watering so much his irises become blurry. "Oh, Tulip!" He looks down and a tear follows, tracing a line on his cheek. "I just don't wanna hurt you."

Tulip grabs Cassidy in her arms without a second thought, and buries her face in his shoulder.

"I had this dream where we—" Cassidy can't stop a hoarse whine from escaping his lips, and he hits the ground next to him with clenched fists. "And I fuckin' ripped yer throat out!"

The confession does not shock Tulip. She notices with a saint-like calm that she knows, just _knows_ , Cassidy would never harm her. That he would harm himself before he ever seriously so much as considered harming her.

"Hey...hey!" Tulip starts, propping herself back up and placing her hands on either sides of Cassidy's face. "Look at me. Look at me! You won't hurt me, _ever_ , you dumbass."

She smiles as a couple of tears drop from her eyes.

"You really believe you could take me? With _those_ chicken arms?" she says, playfully pinching his biceps.

Cassidy finally uncurls his fists to tentatively touch Tulip's arms, pretending to feel her muscles.

"Damn, you're right," he chuckles.

Tulip gently wipes the tears off of Cassidy's cheeks. He's looking up at her like she's got a fucking halo around her head. She has to pat her hair, just to double-check.

_You never know in this crazy ass world_ _._ _If_ _God_ _is_ _a furry_ _,_ _then_ _anything goes_ _._

"Whatcha' doing?"

"Nothing."

"Alright then," Cassidy says.

He seems to have calmed down. His cheeks are almost dry and the red in his eyes is already starting to pale.

Tulip sees him staring at her lips.

"And what are _you_ doing?" she asks.

"Nothin'," he says, smiling, without averting his eyes.

Tulip is overcome with an impulse. She leans down until her face is so close to Cassidy's that she can hear his breath hitch.

"Alright then," she says and leans even further.

Her lips graze Cassidy's.

"Tulip—"

"Cassidy," Tulip says against his lips, "be a gentleman and give the lady what she requires."

Cassidy lunges forward with a bit too much enthusiasm and his teeth knock against Tulip's. But before he can beat himself up for it, she grabs him by the back of his neck and kisses him harder. And then bites his lower lip.

She leans to the side and presses her lips against the bony spot just under his earlobe.

"I'm the one who's gonna do the biting in this relationship," she whispers, "alright?"

**Author's Note:**

> If you read until this note, thank you so much! (and remember a kudo or comment will feed this writer during the harsh winter months)
> 
> This is the first F/M fic I've ever written (*insert Jonathan from Queer Eye* "Can you believe?") and I've put too many feelings in it. Really needed to give Cassidy some of the love he desperately needs and deserves.
> 
> The place they're in is the apartment from season 2. So I guess I'm setting this towards the end of season 2? Kind of alternate universe type of situation there... Not that it really affects the plot anyway.  
> I didn't know what title to give this, so I gave it the name of a song by Jaymes Young that was on a Cassidy playlist I was listening to while editing this and felt appropriate.
> 
> I want to thank [@poerfect](http://poerfect.tumblr.com) for cheering me on while I was writing this (and yelling at me once she learned it would be more than a few hundreds words long, oops) and for dragging me into Cassulip hell with her.
> 
> As always, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated and you can find me on tumblr at [@monstermonstre](http://monstermonstre.tumblr.com)


End file.
